melissa nordin's Page

okay, it is less than 12 hours until i will be sitting nervously in front of someone i barely know, who has never met my children, but will hand down yet another order (decision) as to the fate of us all. regardless of what i think is fair or just, of what either of my children want (which are apparently two different scenarios), and probably NOT punishing or confining enough, in regards to my contact with my children, for the taste of my ex-husband and his "friend". but all in all, i have to be fair. i have to be an american who believes in her country's system, and of course, in the fairness of the judgment of Her Honour.

as usual, just as every night before any of my hearings, i do not feel that i am prepared enough, or that i have reached enough support, or even proven myself adequately to appear before the court as capable and ready as i would like. but isnt that how we ALL feel as parents? dont we ALL feel as though we could have done more? we may have let our child down that one time ...... blah blah blah.

the point is, none of us are perfect. thats what we strive for, yet never really reach here in our short time on earth. but its the people who love us in SPITE of our flaws; even BECAUSE of our quirks, who show us we are loved unconditionally, who support us, even when they dont agree with our actions, but always can agree with our hearts; our spirits; our time together. parents....

beautiful word: "parents". and in light of my own personal events, my mothers illness and very close calls, as well as a very touching and much needed connection with my father last night when i wasnt sure how the reception would go, i reflect on the lesson here i am seeing develope: the relationship of parent and child, at whatever level, ability, functionality, health condition, etc, is something so precious, so delicate and so special. yet it is unbelievably unbreakable, unyielding, unfaltering, immortal, and forever timeless. i love my parents. unconditionally. in spite of their flaws, and definately because of their flaws! they made me who i am today, so that i now, in turn, can so deeply and infinately love my own children with such vigor and intenseness, i cant help but succeed as a parent! no matter what the outcome of tomorrows hearing may be.

good night everyone. thank you so much to those who showed support and especially who will be there tomorrow, in spirit and in person, to have our backs! we love you all!!! but just hearing from all of you who made the effort, showed us that you not only care, but how big one tiny little effort can truly be to those who just want to know youre there. you are honestly all heroes to me and my family! thank you from the bottom of my heart!

love-